Advise?

[ski3pin]

Hi ski3pin, I really need your advice on a serious problem:
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the camper. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the camper that I noticed a hairline crack in the frame around the door. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole frame?

 

[Desert Rancher]

This is usually done by preparation of body, mind and soul.

First you must consume a healthy sum of bacon to prepare the body for the task. Biscuits and gravy may be used to supplement this. The mind can be developed into the proper state by washing the aforementioned down with beer. Several.
The soul will also benefit by diminished anxiety regarding the task ahead.

Second, you must prepare the work area, gather the necessary tools for the repair. More beer will help with this process.

(I will let others have at it now, good luck men!)

 

[jcfly]

By all appearances, you both have your priorities in order. Kudo's, gents.

 

[MarkBC]

Hi ski3pin, I really need your advice on a serious problem:
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the camper. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the camper that I noticed a hairline crack in the frame around the door. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole frame?

 

[Smokecreek1]

Say-Was your camper level-because I to noted a similar problem that rectified itself upon egress from the vehicle to obtain more vodka!

Smoke

 

[Lighthawk]

You're on a roll today.
Maybe you should consider a new career . . . in comedy.

 

[chnlisle]

I must have the same phone # as the weather bureau. Every time I answer some one ask if the coast is clear. And I haven't lived at the beach for 6 years.

 

[Foy]

Yes, living with the ladies can be difficult, especially when you've been married for 33 years, as I have. Case in point: My wife just cut me back to once a week. I guess that's not so bad. I know a couple of guys she cut out altogether...............

 

[ski3pin]

,snip> My wife just cut me back to once a week. I guess that's not so bad. I know a couple of guys she cut out altogether...............


Whoa..................good one! I hope she'll still help with welding or replacing the door frame. Oh, and congrats on 33 years. The Lady and I will be celebrating 29 this year.

 

[Foy]

Whoa..................good one! I hope she'll still help with welding or replacing the door frame. Oh, and congrats on 33 years. The Lady and I will be celebrating 29 this year.


Students of comedy will recognize that joke as having been shamlessly stolen from the late, great Rodney Dangerfield. It's always been one of my favorites.

Yes, multi-decade marriages are increasingly rare. We're very happy for ours.

Foy

 

[MarkBC]

Yes, living with the ladies can be difficult, especially when you've been married for 33 years, as I have. Case in point: My wife just cut me back to once a week. I guess that's not so bad. I know a couple of guys she cut out altogether...............



Students of comedy will recognize that joke as having been shamlessly stolen from the late, great Rodney Dangerfield. It's always been one of my favorites.
Foy


You know, before you revealed the Dangerfield origin, I was gonna reply, "Put 'I don't get no respect, no respect at all!' at the beginning of this joke and it'd sound like Dangerfield."
I guess I must be one of those students of comedy.

By the way -- I think that's a very funny joke.

 

[Foy]

You know, before you revealed the Dangerfield origin, I was gonna reply, "Put 'I don't get no respect, no respect at all!' at the beginning of this joke and it'd sound like Dangerfield."
I guess I must be one of those students of comedy.

By the way -- I think that's a very funny joke.

Perhaps I should have referenced fans of comedy rather than students, as the latter makes it seem as though I've paid more attention to the genre than I have. I've just always enjoyed any and all sorts of over the top comedy, be it slapstick, prop comics, rapid-fire one liners, or whatever else. The late Sam Kinison was a real gem in my view. The first time I heard him sing "Are You Lonely Tonight", I just about fouled my britches. You can see the Kinison video on YouTube.

Glad you folks enjoyed the Dangerfield line.

Foy

 

[leadsled9]

A good fish tale:

Alaska (where life is tough and humor is dark):

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay ."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "and What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had a dozen 25 pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

 

[MarkBC]

A good fish tale:

Alaska (where life is tough and humor is dark):...

I actually lol-ed to that one!

 

[ski3pin]