I need to hear a good new joke

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Roger Penske (Penkse Rental trucks etc.) is quoted as saying something similar to that.

"The way to make a small fortune in racing is to start with a large one."

I believe that I've read it in "The Unfair Advantage", Mark Donohue's biography. For those who don't know, Penske Racing fielded the Sunoco Oil sponsored road racing cars of 60's into the 70's with Mark Donohue as their lead driver. A lot of innovation came out of that racing team, and more than a fair amount of it is directly credited to Donohue. Some pics might ring a few bells:

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along these same lines..........


My Uncle John had a dairy farm in Wisconsin. A friend asked him once "What would you do if you won a million dollars?" John said, "Well, I reckon I'll just keep farming 'till it's all gone."
 
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE:
(If you remember Red Skelton you get an 'old' endorsement on your geezer card).
  1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food, and companionship. She goes on Tuesday, I go on Friday.
  2. We also sleep in separate beds. Her's is in California and mine is in Texas.
  3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere we haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
  5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
  6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was? She told me "In the lake."
  7. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
  8. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
  9. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
  10. Our last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust!"
 
Here at home in the mountains the summer season is in full swing. Our local Safeway parking lot is blocked by bubbas and bubbettes large rigs towing the usual assortment of toys and monthly payments as they run in to get an expensive foo foo drink at Starbucks before heading off into the "wilderness."

At this time of the year I'm always reminded of the timeless adage -

If you give a man a fish he can feed himself for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Another note about our Safeway. The produce is subpar but the beer and chip aisles are outstanding.
 
Wow! I just received this email (in the junk file). Do you think today is my lucky day? I'm putting it in the joke file.

Dear winner,



I am Mr. Richard Cheng, the mega winner of $1.3billion USD in Mega Millions Jackpot, I'm donating to 10 random individuals. If you receive my email then your email was selected after a spin ball. Due to my cancer, I will be spreading most of my new found wealth over a number of charities and organizations. I have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $10M USD to you

as you are one of the selected 10, to verify my winnings please see the youtube page below.



WATCH HERE: -------deleted



THIS IS YOUR OWN SPECIAL CODE: [ 0046036] Reply with the CODE [0046037] to this email below. He will process the delivery you just follow his instruction to help you receive.



Contact my Financial Team head

My Personal Assistant

Name: Mr. Scott Williams

Email: deleted

Hope to put a smile on your face and that of your family.



Regards,

Mr. Richard Cheng
 
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