I went through the process of figuring out what was the right thing to do about a truck for my camper as well. I have a low mileage 2011 Tacoma Access Cab TRD Off Road. I decided that even though lots of people put pop up campers on Tacoma trucks, I wanted to know what weight would I be asking it to carry compared to it's 1300 lb payload capacity.
FWC publishes the weights for their campers and options so lets use them as an example.
A popular FWC for a Tacoma is a Fleet which weights 845 lbs.
Options you said you wanted a few of the more common ones most of us order:
Roof rack - 8
Thermal Pack - 5
Smallest Battery - 53
Side Awning - 40
Fantastic Fan - 8
Furnace - 25
Jack brackets - 4
P/Potti - 10
Smallest Fridge - 40
1 Solar panel and controller - 25
Hot water heater and O/S Shower - 70
Options total 288 lbs. Total camper weight now is 1133 lbs.
Add in 26 gallons of water for tank and hot water heater - 217 lbs
Full propane tank - 20 lbs
You and your wife plus the Lab - lets say 400lbs +/-
The air bags and E rated tires add another 75 lbs
Now we're at 1845 lbs.
Then add in the "stuff" you have to take like food, drinking water, clothes and hiking boots, backpacks, cook ware and plates, utensils, toiletries, towels, first aid kit, GPS/Phone/Computer, small BBQ, folding chairs, etc. That stuff is going to be 500 lbs plus.
So the real weight of the camper and cargo is now 2350 lbs! If you want a second solar panel, a bigger battery, a kayak it keeps going up. That would be more than 1000 lbs over the Tacoma's payload capacity and maybe even doubling it if you do add some extras.
I really wanted to use my Tacoma but like you asked, is this kind of load expecting too much for long term health of it? Or safety? I don't know for sure but unfortunately I think it is and decided against it.