Ireland Declares War On France

[the fisherman]

Nicolas Sarkozy, the French President , is sitting in his office, when the telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy! a heavely accented voicem said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub, in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon Treaty" " Well Paddy, this indeed is important news" How big is your army? "right now" says Paddy, after a few moments calculation, Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub.'' That makes eleven! Sarkozy paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in army waiting to move at my command." "Begoora"! says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." The next day, Paddy calls again."Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We managed to get our hands on some infintary equipment"! "And what equipment would that be Paddy? Sarkozy asks."Wellwe have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor". Sarkozy sighs, "Must tell you Paddy, that I have 6000 tanks and 5000 armoured personel carriers. Also I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints Preserve Us!" says Paddy."I'll have to get back to you". Paddy calls again the next day."Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on!" We managed to get airborne! we modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" Sarkozy was silent form a moment and the cleared his throat." I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser guided surface to air missle sites. And since we last spoke I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Mary and Joseph!" says Paddy " I will have to ring you back" Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin",Mr. Sarkozy! "I am sorry to inform you we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that" says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well says Paddy! "Well says Paddy, "we had a long talk over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crtisps, and we decided ther is no Fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.