So, You Hate Your Job

[the fisherman]

Next time you have a "I HATE MY JOB'' day try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure to get this brand.
When you get home. Lock the door, draw the curtains and disconect the phone (get off the internet) so you won't be disturbed. Change into comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite easy chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now carefully place it on a table or a surface where it won't get scratched or broken
Now the fun part begins.................
Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every Rectal Thermometer Made By Johnson and Johnson Is Personally Tested"
Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer department at Johnson and Johnson"
HAVE A NICE DAY, AND REMEMBER THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS

 

[robbie]

Johnson and Johnson is a "Family Company"

robbie

 

[georgem]

the half-wit

I just hope this isn't one the Fisherman gave me....

The Half-wit

A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire.

The Department of Wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me
for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board.'

'The cook/housekeeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150
per week plus free room and board.'

'Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £70 per week,
pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every
Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to....the half-wit,' says the agent.

'That would be me,' replied the farmer

 

[the fisherman]

911

A man calls 911 and starts shreiking,"My wife is having a baby! You have to help me!"
The 911 operator says,"Sir calm down, is this her first child?
The man says,"No you idiot, this is her husband!"