Thanks Jay for the good joke. The Lady liked it too.
I told this one to the Lady as we were hiking out of the Winds yesterday. In the evening we were walking along Half Moon Lake. A boy had two girls on the back of an ATV and was zooming around, ripping up the road in some kind of juvenile mating ritual. They headed down the road to the boat ramp that paralleled our road and were soon stopped behind a screen of fir trees. The laughter started and the Lady called down, "Slap his face and pull his ears!"chnlisle said:Lets see if this makes the cut.[/size]
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. [/size]
The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What’s the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it’s nowhere near long enough. It’ll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. [/size]
The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night." [/size]
There you go picking on us Italians again.ski3pin said:When you arrive at the gates of Heaven:
You will be greeted by an Englishman.
Your meals will be prepared by a Frenchman.
You will be entertained by an Italian
And it will all be scheduled by a German
When you arrive at the gates of Hell :
You will be greeted by Frenchman
Your meals will be prepared by an Englishman.
You will be entertained by a German
And it will all be scheduled by an Italian
My nationality is in there too!Casa Escarlata Robles Too said:There you go picking on us Italians again.
Frank
This reminded me of a similar comparison...maybe not a joke, exactly, but something I heard from a Scottish friend of mine, years ago:ski3pin said:When you arrive at the gates of Heaven:
You will be greeted by an Englishman.
Your meals will be prepared by a Frenchman.
You will be entertained by an Italian
And it will all be scheduled by a German
When you arrive at the gates of Hell :
You will be greeted by Frenchman
Your meals will be prepared by an Englishman.
You will be entertained by a German
And it will all be scheduled by an Italian
How true. Good oneski3pin said:[SIZE=10pt]An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do and he didn't seem to be too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whisky, and a Playboy magazine.
"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard and, Lord, what a shame that would be. Worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed and, as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired the Centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "He's gonna run for Congress!"[/SIZE]