Lawyer Joke........inside

[the fisherman]

A lawyer marries a woman who had divorced ten husbands. On her wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle,I'm still a virgin"
"What" said the puzzled groom
"How can that be, if you've been married ten times"
"Well, husband #1 was a sales representive; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services, he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was in field services, he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing, he knew he had the order, but he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process, but he wanted three years to research and implement, and design a new state of the art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration, he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure wether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he ever did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was........."God I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!''
"Good, but why?"
"You're a lawyer, this time I know I'm gonna get screwed"

 

[Tomas Tierra]

two lawyers were sitting at a bar..a nice looking blond gal comes in and sits down the bar..One lawyer looks at the other and says,"whataya say we buy that gal a couple of drinks and try and f*&$ her?"...the other lawyer says, "outa what?"

 

[the fisherman]

two lawyers were sitting at a bar..a nice looking blond gal comes in and sits down the bar..One lawyer looks at the other and says,"whataya say we buy that gal a couple of drinks and try and f*&$ her?"...the other lawyer says, "outa what?"

I JUST LOVE LAWYER JOKES, KEEP EM' COMING, PERSONALLY, I DON'T CARE HOW OFFENSIVE THEY ARE, SOMEBODY ELSE MIGHT, BUT NOT ME

 

[chnlisle]

DD's gone lets have a party. Y'think anyone will tell?

 

[Tomas Tierra]

You're yelling again

 

[georgem]

A little old lady goes into see a lawyer about getting a will.

After reviewing the circumstances the lawyers determines this is a pretty simple matter and she is of meager means, and offers to take care of it. As the old woman leaves she reaches into her purse and pulls a brand new $100 bill out. The lawyer waves her off telling her he was happy to be of help and there would be no charge. The old woman insists, telling the lawyer she pays all her debts!

The lawyer is leaning back in his chair, rubbing that brand new $100 bill between his fingers when he realizes there are in fact TWO crisp brand new $100 bills stuck together....now he is faced with an ethical dilemma, especially since he was going to do this pro-bono in first place....should he tell his partner?

 

[EdoHart]

What do you call?

What do you call a sky diving lawyer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Skeet.

 

[the fisherman]

What do you call a sky diving lawyer?

.
.
.
.
.
Skeet.

For some reason, I knew this lawyer thread would catch on, aren't you glad your not a lawyer, it's just like working in the thermometer dept.