Say What?

[the fisherman]

Mathama Gandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ................what? "A super callused fragile mystic hexed by hallitosis"

 

[Marc]

Matmaha Gandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ................what? "A super callused fragile mystic hexed by hallitosis"

Fisherman ...

You have way to much time on your hands.

 

[K6ON]

Groan.....

 

[the fisherman]

Jokes

Groan.....

YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE ANY, YOU'LL NEVER LIKE THEM ALL

 

[K6ON]

I Like most of them...that one was a groaner...

 

[the fisherman]

Well' Try This

A guy walks into a bar and puts an alligator up on the bar and turns to astonished patrons."I'll make you a deal, I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my balls inside, then the alligator will close his mouth for one minute, then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectale, each of you will buy me a drink". The crowd mumumered their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers and placed his Johnson in the alligators mouth. The gator closed his mouth, and the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of it's head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer."I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try" A hush fell over the crowd. After a few minutes of silence, a single hand went up."I'll try it" yelled a blonde woman from the other end of the bar."But don't hit me so hard with the bottle".

 

[John D]

Fisherman,

NGPAL from the Burger Palace does not know how to add.

John

 

[pvstoy]

Fisherman,

NGPAL from the Burger Palace does not know how to add.

John

That is 1947...and was old math....We are all on the new math system

Padding the bills all day could net you a healthy bounus.

 

[EdoHart]

A guy walks into a bar...

That got an open laugh from me.

So, this guy walks into a bar carrying a box. He places the box on the bar and asks the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing you have ever seen do you agree to give me a free drink?" The bartender agrees, so the guy opens the box to reveal a tiny grand piano and a tiny man inside.

"Play Tschaikowsky's Piano Concerto No. 1." For almost an hour everyone in the bar sits mesmerized by the music emanating from the tiny grand piano. The bartender agrees that is the most amazing thing he has ever seen and happily gives the man his free drink.

"Where did you get that tiny man?"

"There's a genie in front of your bar granting wishes"

The bartender runs outside, only to come back a few minutes later followed by a long line of ducks. He resumes his place behind the bar and starts polishing glasses while more and more ducks fill the place. As ducks continue to enter the bar, the bartender angrily asks the man "Why didn't you tell me the genie was hard of hearing? I asked for a million bucks and he give me a million ducks!"

To which the man replies "Hey, do you think I asked for a 10 inch pianist?"

 

[the fisherman]

Now We're Talkin'

We need humor, especially now, all you hear is doom and gloom, I'm tired of it. It so happens that one of the best jokes I have ever heard is a Mahatma Gandi joke, I thought about how I could tell it on this site, but you have to change it too much (clean it up) it just ruins the joke. I'll save it for the PIG FESTIVAL

 

[the fisherman]

The Interesting Thing

That is 1947...and was old math....We are all on the new math system

Padding the bills all day could net you a healthy bounus.

Is that those very same people are doing most of the rocket sceince, and all of the brain surgery these days.

 

[Mark W. Ingalls]

I went to school with a young woman who swears this story is true...

One day on her way to 8:00 a.m. lecture she heard a Kermit-y voice say, "Help me!"

She looked in the direction of the voice and saw a frog, which she scooped up and put in her backpack.

After three hours' classes, she had a little break so she took the frog out of her backpack and looked at it. It said, "Help! I'm really a handsome prince! If you just kiss me, I'll revert to my normal self and --"

She put the frog back inside her pack and went on to her next class, while the frog pondered how he might finish his sentence.

She had lunch at 12:30. Just before her 1:15 she remembered the frog, so she got him out again to see what he'd say.

"--If you kiss me, I promise to be your boyfriend!" concluded the frog.

Reaching for the frog (whose hopes were high) she --instead of placing him to her lips-- began returning him to the pack.

"Why won't you kiss me?!" the frog croaked.

"Look, I'm an engineering student so I don't have time right now for a boyfriend...

"... but a talking frog is cool!"

 

[the fisherman]

I Think This Is What The Lounge Is For

We can BS about airbags and gearboxes all day long, but I really like to see and hear people laugh, if I can put a smile on someones face for a minute, it puts a smile on my face all day long.

 

[EdoHart]

I can keep it clean, too.

I went to school with a young woman who swears this story is true...

Well, at least I have one clean joke...

Why did God create Yogi Bear?













Because his first attempt was a little Bo Bo.