teledork
Pinyon Jay
I understand this is likely to be an uncomfortable topic but I am always trying to find some positive or some kind of lesson out of negative experiences and by asking what others think perhaps I can broaden my viewpoint. Perhaps I am just trying to find some hope.
I just spent two days camping out in the Mono Basin for the purpose of enjoying those beautiful and quiet desert nights and getting my kayak in the water early in the morning ahead of the wind and thunderstorms. The boating was excellent and for the most part the HUGE number of people camped out on those roads and boating on the lake were decent. Except the ones who camped within talking distance of me and built a campfire. They said it was okay because they had a campfire permit and had a fire ring . To quote Simon and Garfunkle - "a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest".
But I was admonished, not once but twice, to “go back to wherever the f*** you came from". One was from a Mammoth “local” - the other (two of them) were self declared Lee Vining “locals” (“my family has been here for five generations”) and one of those “dudes” came real close to getting pepper sprayed when he approached my truck yelling, “you are messing with the wrong dudes” - I rolled up the window instead. I think they are hard to break. My crime - as far as I can ascertain - was that I was unable to back up to a pull off fast enough when they demanded the right of way on a narrow road and when one of the women thanked me for pulling off I said, “You’re welcome”. Then the trucks stopped and two guys jumped out yelling at me to “get the f*** out of here and don't you EVER come back!” when they had me blocked with their vehicles. I pointed that fact out and then they wanted me to tell them where I live before they would let me go (yup - the guy said, “tell us where you live and we’ll let you go”). Yeah - right - you have me trapped and are threatening me and I am supposed to tell you where I live. And the “go back where you came from” - ha - I live an hour away. I have worked three different jobs in Lee Vining. It is possible one or both of the “local” punks had been students in my 3rd grade classroom.
In the first incident there were enough other people around that I did not feel I was in danger but I have to admit that the second incident scared me enough to seriously consider my safety traveling alone while female. The woman who had thanked me finally got them to leave me alone. I have no idea what thoughts were in the heads of the kids in the back seat - which actually frightens me even more than adults acting badly. What are they learning from watching their dad? Is this what we have to look forward to from here on out?
This is not the first time I have had something like this happen. Once, within a couple of miles of home on a major highway (road construction and I was driving the lowered speed limit until I could pull off and out of the way of the lunatic making obscene gestures at me for a mile and a half) this particular humanoid appearing individual passed me then slammed on the brakes, backed his car into the turn-out, ran up to my truck and spit in my face before I could get the window up. I suspect this would not have happened if I were not female. And that was not even the first time. Two men stopped, backed up and jumped out of the vehicle when I pulled out of their way (after being tailgated for a few miles)on the road down from Horseshoe Meadows above Lone Pine, CA. if you know that road - a drop of a few thousand feet, long stretches with little to no shoulder - there was no one around and my life genuinely passed before my eyes. They screamed that I was driving too slow but apparently they had plenty of time to stop and threaten me. I don’t get it -
If I don’t travel alone I don’t travel. When my mother was still alive I used to lie to her and say I was carrying a gun but I don’t because I don’t want to be a part of a world where I might have to really consider shooting a human being . I love to backpack and actually feel much safer in the wilderness than anywhere drivable. I can deal with a mamma bear worrying about her cubs but disturbed humanoids honestly make me want to quit this incarnation. But I don’t want to give up my camper - not yet - especially as the years continue to take their toll on my body. What are the “new” requirements for staying safe while traveling alone? Would a visible firearm (gun in a rack in the rear window?) give an aggressor second thoughts? What the hell has happened to the human race?
I can understand the provincialism, not condone but at least understand. I think it was already there but I’ll bet the virus and tourists generally behaving badly has made it more acceptable to harass visitors. I think driving a camper increases my attractiveness as a target for “local’s” provincialism even though I live in this county. I was told “you can’t camp here” when I had the camper popped up while I kayaked. My question, “define camping?” resulted in a harangue that I just walked away from. On the other hand the man in the van on the other side of that particular “local” HAD camped there and was, at that very moment, standing next to his van brushing his teeth - but yeah - he was not female.
I also have the life experience of being married to a man who would verbally abuse anyone. I learned very quickly that his targets would take it out on me whenever possible. I was easy. Low hanging fruit. Female. They did not dare stand up to him. They were infinitely smarter than I was.
I am trying real hard not to be paranoid and feel victimized but the first incident of this kind happened more than five years ago and is becoming a regular concern for me now. When did it become acceptable to stop and harass a woman when she is doing everything within her conceivable options to avoid pissing a man off ?(which an abusive marriage taught me is only rarely possible) Is this cultural? After being widowed once and then divorced I am already well acquainted with the cultural pressure to be paired up. If we don’t have a man with us we are supposed to be frightened until we become obsequious and/or stay home and watch TV? Is this the new normal?
Are there other solo women travelers out there? Any men who have experienced anything like this? Anyone have any words of hope?
I just spent two days camping out in the Mono Basin for the purpose of enjoying those beautiful and quiet desert nights and getting my kayak in the water early in the morning ahead of the wind and thunderstorms. The boating was excellent and for the most part the HUGE number of people camped out on those roads and boating on the lake were decent. Except the ones who camped within talking distance of me and built a campfire. They said it was okay because they had a campfire permit and had a fire ring . To quote Simon and Garfunkle - "a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest".
But I was admonished, not once but twice, to “go back to wherever the f*** you came from". One was from a Mammoth “local” - the other (two of them) were self declared Lee Vining “locals” (“my family has been here for five generations”) and one of those “dudes” came real close to getting pepper sprayed when he approached my truck yelling, “you are messing with the wrong dudes” - I rolled up the window instead. I think they are hard to break. My crime - as far as I can ascertain - was that I was unable to back up to a pull off fast enough when they demanded the right of way on a narrow road and when one of the women thanked me for pulling off I said, “You’re welcome”. Then the trucks stopped and two guys jumped out yelling at me to “get the f*** out of here and don't you EVER come back!” when they had me blocked with their vehicles. I pointed that fact out and then they wanted me to tell them where I live before they would let me go (yup - the guy said, “tell us where you live and we’ll let you go”). Yeah - right - you have me trapped and are threatening me and I am supposed to tell you where I live. And the “go back where you came from” - ha - I live an hour away. I have worked three different jobs in Lee Vining. It is possible one or both of the “local” punks had been students in my 3rd grade classroom.
In the first incident there were enough other people around that I did not feel I was in danger but I have to admit that the second incident scared me enough to seriously consider my safety traveling alone while female. The woman who had thanked me finally got them to leave me alone. I have no idea what thoughts were in the heads of the kids in the back seat - which actually frightens me even more than adults acting badly. What are they learning from watching their dad? Is this what we have to look forward to from here on out?
This is not the first time I have had something like this happen. Once, within a couple of miles of home on a major highway (road construction and I was driving the lowered speed limit until I could pull off and out of the way of the lunatic making obscene gestures at me for a mile and a half) this particular humanoid appearing individual passed me then slammed on the brakes, backed his car into the turn-out, ran up to my truck and spit in my face before I could get the window up. I suspect this would not have happened if I were not female. And that was not even the first time. Two men stopped, backed up and jumped out of the vehicle when I pulled out of their way (after being tailgated for a few miles)on the road down from Horseshoe Meadows above Lone Pine, CA. if you know that road - a drop of a few thousand feet, long stretches with little to no shoulder - there was no one around and my life genuinely passed before my eyes. They screamed that I was driving too slow but apparently they had plenty of time to stop and threaten me. I don’t get it -
If I don’t travel alone I don’t travel. When my mother was still alive I used to lie to her and say I was carrying a gun but I don’t because I don’t want to be a part of a world where I might have to really consider shooting a human being . I love to backpack and actually feel much safer in the wilderness than anywhere drivable. I can deal with a mamma bear worrying about her cubs but disturbed humanoids honestly make me want to quit this incarnation. But I don’t want to give up my camper - not yet - especially as the years continue to take their toll on my body. What are the “new” requirements for staying safe while traveling alone? Would a visible firearm (gun in a rack in the rear window?) give an aggressor second thoughts? What the hell has happened to the human race?
I can understand the provincialism, not condone but at least understand. I think it was already there but I’ll bet the virus and tourists generally behaving badly has made it more acceptable to harass visitors. I think driving a camper increases my attractiveness as a target for “local’s” provincialism even though I live in this county. I was told “you can’t camp here” when I had the camper popped up while I kayaked. My question, “define camping?” resulted in a harangue that I just walked away from. On the other hand the man in the van on the other side of that particular “local” HAD camped there and was, at that very moment, standing next to his van brushing his teeth - but yeah - he was not female.
I also have the life experience of being married to a man who would verbally abuse anyone. I learned very quickly that his targets would take it out on me whenever possible. I was easy. Low hanging fruit. Female. They did not dare stand up to him. They were infinitely smarter than I was.
I am trying real hard not to be paranoid and feel victimized but the first incident of this kind happened more than five years ago and is becoming a regular concern for me now. When did it become acceptable to stop and harass a woman when she is doing everything within her conceivable options to avoid pissing a man off ?(which an abusive marriage taught me is only rarely possible) Is this cultural? After being widowed once and then divorced I am already well acquainted with the cultural pressure to be paired up. If we don’t have a man with us we are supposed to be frightened until we become obsequious and/or stay home and watch TV? Is this the new normal?
Are there other solo women travelers out there? Any men who have experienced anything like this? Anyone have any words of hope?
