Don't let The Lady see/hear thatski3pin said:
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
OP
OP
She thought it was as funny as I did.Wandering Sagebrush said:Don't let The Lady see/hear that
Tuff Guy 62
Senior Member
Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
He kept buttering up the teacher.
He kept buttering up the teacher.
This is from our local paper.
Wondering how best to contact the government?
I pondered how to contact my government:
Twitter? Email? Facebook? Snail Mail? No,wait!
A senior presidential adviser told me.
Just speak into your microwave.
Frank
Wondering how best to contact the government?
I pondered how to contact my government:
Twitter? Email? Facebook? Snail Mail? No,wait!
A senior presidential adviser told me.
Just speak into your microwave.
Frank
Tuff Guy 62
Senior Member
Good one Frank.Casa Escarlata Robles Too said:
Since you kind of opened the door to dumb blonde jokes, I'll take the ball and run with it. Here goes........
A young blonde woman fresh out of college is on her first day on the job as a PE teacher.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a soccer ball.
Feeling sorry for the boy she decides to speak with him........
"Are you alright" she asks.
"Yes" he replies.
"You can go play with the other kids, you know" she says.
"It's best I stay here" he replies.
"Why's that" asks the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says: "Because I'm the goal keeper!"
OP
OP
My young blonde PE teacher (the Lady) would never do a thing like this, even on her first day out of college.
Tuff Guy 62
Senior Member
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
allanb
Senior Member
To tell jokes on my redneck self:
you been married 3 x, and still have the same in laws,,,
you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge,,
you think dom perignon was a mafioso,,,
you wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean,,,
And for all of us here:
neighbors throw you a house warming party, and have to help take the wheels off your new home,,,
you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels
you been married 3 x, and still have the same in laws,,,
you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge,,
you think dom perignon was a mafioso,,,
you wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean,,,
And for all of us here:
neighbors throw you a house warming party, and have to help take the wheels off your new home,,,
you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels
OP
OP
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
yet.
yet.
I have tried to set a time for the meeting,maybe I'll get to it tomorrow or the next day.ski3pin said:
Frank
I've been thinking about joining, but just haven't found the time.ski3pin said:
Alley-Kat
Elder Statesman
My wife has been nagging me to join one of those, but, I'm in no hurry, I've got plenty of time to do it.ski3pin said:
PaulT
Need gumbo
While my chapter of the Iconoclast Society has been having difficulty in attracting more members, the local chapter of the Society for the Preservation of Wooden Toilet Seats (aka The Birch John Society) has done well.
Paul
Paul
Pregnancy Q & A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Very nice Steve and true.
Frank
Frank
OP
OP
Now that's funny!
Both great ones.
Would not want to buy a cord of wood from him though.
Frank
Would not want to buy a cord of wood from him though.
Frank
craig333
Riley's Human
Perfect for your https://snowpeak.com/collections/fireplace-grills
