Yeah at least the horses are fun to watch.
Frank
Frank
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
ntsqd
Custom User Title
Saw the Clydesdales back in the 70's when I was a 'tweener'. Dang but those guys are huge! At least they are to a kid that size.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
OP
OP
Some classics there, thanks!
OMG... thanks for the laughs!
Ah now just missed St Paddy's day but Guinness always had great old commercials in the 70's and 80's
pvstoy
Senior Member
Those were some classic church sayings. Thanks for the laugh!!
That's a good laugh,thanks.buckland said:
Frank
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the
“Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a
grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down,
I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the
“Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a
grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down,
I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
Some good truism's.
Frank
Frank
Good info for those forest walks.
Frank
Frank
OP
OP
I woke up screaming and scared after a bad dream and then I had to apologize to everyone in the staff meeting.
OP
OP
Law enforcement in our county had good luck with a robbery suspect. It seems he could not control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man yelled, "That's not what I said!"
OP
OP
What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
The cold shoulder.
Groan... love it!ski3pin said:
billharr
Senior Member
How come there's 2 doors on a chicken coupe?
Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a sedan.
OP
OP
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
OP
OP
I was told if you are attacked by a gang of clowns you should go for the juggler.
Groan! (I love it!)ski3pin said:
OP
OP
I checked into the hokey pokey clinic and I turned myself around.
