I need to hear a good new joke

These are hysterical.

This isn't a specific joke per se, but a general hoot; once upon a time, very briefly, I earned a pilot's license in a Citabria with the best instructor ever - Vietnam vet who was the aerobatics instructor. When we flew into rural airports he would feed me lines to say to the guys who would get sassy over the radio. ( I'm female ) They thought I was solo and had absolutely no idea who was in the plane with me....Can't recall specific exchanges but you can well imagine...I thank god we never had a hot mike....

Boy those were good times
 
And on the canine subject.....................................

Lots of new cross breeds are appearing -

Collie + Lhasa Apso produces Collapso , a dog that folds up for easy transport.

Bloodhound + Labrador produces Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.

Malamute + Pointer produces Moot Point, a dog owned by.............it doesn't really matter.

Pekingese + Lhasa Apso produces Peekasso, a very abstract dog.
 
Newfoundland + Poodle = Noodle, this joke was told to me by owners of a Noodle/Newdle at work.

In real life this particular Noodle looked like a 200 lb ( yes really! ) Fozzy Bear.
 
Never criticize someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Then say whatever you want because you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
 
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel produces Irish Springer, a dog always fresh and clean as mountain air.

Collie + Malamute produce Commute, a dog that travels to work.

Deerhound + Terrier produce Derriere, a dog true to the end.
 
Well Seamus and Colum were on their way home after a rather lengthy session and in no time a’tall needed a rest. Off to the side of the road to have a sit when Colum says “dear Lord we’re at the edge of a grave yard! Look at this one John O’Donnaghue 88 from Sligo ... my word he had a long life. “That’s nothing Seamus says.. over here Fergus O’Toole 94 from Cork! Bejezus Colum cries this is incredible... would ya look at this! 126!” “What’s his name? stammers Seamus. Colum replies
“Miles from Dublin”
 
Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

It is the guy who can carry 2 cups of coffee.....AND a dozen donuts at the same time!

cwd
 
[SIZE=12pt]According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.[/SIZE]
 
Two trucks loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday.



Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied.
 
ski3pin said:
Two trucks loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday.



Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied.
I am gobsmacked!
 

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