OP
OP
I read this aloud to Julie, the physical education teacher. She didn't see it coming. You should have seen her face imagining 100 pounds on the end of each arm.JaSAn said:
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
Good one.JaSAn
Ted that budget seems about right.
Stay safe and have fun.Don't if both of those things
can be done at the same time though.
Frank
Ted that budget seems about right.
Stay safe and have fun.Don't if both of those things
can be done at the same time though.
Frank
A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walked into a bar.
Bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll you have?"
Rabbit says, "I don't know. I'm only here because of auto-correct."
Bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll you have?"
Rabbit says, "I don't know. I'm only here because of auto-correct."
Gotta love spell check.
Frank
Frank
OP
OP
Oh, that hurts.Wandering Sagebrush said:
As my old drill instructor used to say, “If it isn’t hurtin’ it isn’t helpin’.”ski3pin said:
This is when you wear your Stormtrooper helmet
upside down.
Frank
upside down.
Frank
I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
JaSan, I love it!
Breaking News: Due to the pandemic, Finland has closed its borders. Absolutely no one is crossing the finish line.
And... Because of the quarantine, I’m only telling inside jokes.
And... Because of the quarantine, I’m only telling inside jokes.
OP
OP
And think ahead to 2033 and all the Quaranteen jokes we'll be telling.
pvstoy
Senior Member
My Gal was cleaning out some stuff and left this for me.
[SIZE=15.5pt]The Husband Store [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] "You may visit the store ONLY ONCE~ There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building![/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]"So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: [/SIZE][SIZE=13.5pt]Floor 1 - These men have jobs.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. “OH, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The third through sixth floors have never been visited. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=15.5pt]The Husband Store [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] "You may visit the store ONLY ONCE~ There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building![/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]"So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: [/SIZE][SIZE=13.5pt]Floor 1 - These men have jobs.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. “OH, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The third through sixth floors have never been visited. [/SIZE]
good one Patrick!
ntsqd
Custom User Title
Thinking of starting a line of Braille horror novels
You can really feel the suspense
blatantly stolen form another forum.
You can really feel the suspense
blatantly stolen form another forum.
OP
OP
Julie and I are rolling on the floor! Thank you.
pvstoy said:
Vic Harder said:
OP
OP
I've been washing my hands so much lately that I just found an old girlfriend's phone number.
Oops,keep on washing.
Frank
Frank
I’ve decided to sell our vacuum cleaner.
It’s just gathering dust.
It’s just gathering dust.
OP
OP
After digging to a depth of 10 feet last year outside Buffalo, New York, scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly afterward, a story in the LA Times read, "California archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.
One week later, a local newspaper in Green Bay, Wisconsin reported, "After digging 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sobieski, Wisconsin, Ole Olson, a heck of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless."
Just makes a person proud to be from Wisconsin .
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly afterward, a story in the LA Times read, "California archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.
One week later, a local newspaper in Green Bay, Wisconsin reported, "After digging 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sobieski, Wisconsin, Ole Olson, a heck of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless."
Just makes a person proud to be from Wisconsin .
Recently seen on the interwebs.
”If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana do?”
”If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana do?”
