OP
OP
I'll bank that time for you. 
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
“Revenge is a dish best served cold” - attribution unk
OP
OP
.......some of us lose and some of us gain.
…and some of us just get a chuckle out of being silly old geezers.
Funny at least there was a banjo in the mix.
Frank
Frank
Mighty Dodge Ram
Senior Member
My BIL is an EE (electrical engineer) working on secret stuff for the gov’t. My FIL sent some engineer jokes:
[SIZE=14pt]Understanding Engineers:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the optimist, the glass is half-full.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Understanding Engineers:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the optimist, the glass is half-full.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.[/SIZE]
Mighty Dodge Ram
Senior Member
[SIZE=14pt]Understanding Engineers #2:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.[/SIZE]
Mighty Dodge Ram said:
My engineering perspective…. If it isn’t leaking, it’s empty
OP
OP
I recall the tale of a mother talking with her son's teacher at a parent teacher conference. The teacher tells the mother that her boy has the knack, understands everything mechanical, and is destined to be an engineer. The mother asks, "Will he be able to live a normal life?"
ntsqd
Custom User Title
My Engineering perspective: If it is leaking it was designed in England. Or Milwaukee, WI.
Due to language I'm linking this flowchart, one that I've personally found to be true all too often:
https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-WjZv8dW/0/df33cff4/O/i-WjZv8dW.jpg
Due to language I'm linking this flowchart, one that I've personally found to be true all too often:
https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-WjZv8dW/0/df33cff4/O/i-WjZv8dW.jpg
There’s an error on the “Does it move? No” path.cwdtmmrs said:
There is still an issue if it’s not supposed to move, please add the following to replace “No Problem”, [SIZE=x-large]“Is it Brass? If no, paint it. If yes, polish it”[/SIZE]
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of the widow at the farm house where they spent the night. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that nice widow from the farm that let us stay the night in her barn about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of the widow at the farm house where they spent the night. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that nice widow from the farm that let us stay the night in her barn about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
Boy some people have all the luck.
Frank
Frank
I asked the bartender to make me a Zombie and he said: "Sorry, buddy, Mother Nature has beaten me to it”.
Apparently your pupils are the last thing to stop working after your death…
They Dilate.
They Dilate.
pvstoy
Senior Member
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.
Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup.
And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.
Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup.
And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.
