I need to hear a good new joke

[GroovyDad]

[SIZE=16pt]THE VALUE OF A GOOD VOCABULARY?[/SIZE]



























[SIZE=16pt]I called an old classmate and asked what he was doing.[/SIZE]









[SIZE=16pt]He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."[/SIZE]









[SIZE=16pt]I was impressed...[/SIZE]









[SIZE=16pt]However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.[/SIZE]

 

[Squatch]

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at 'Mom' and pushed send.
His mother answered, and I told her what happened.
'Don't worry,' she said, 'I'll take care of it.'
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was 'Mom.'
'Martin,' she said, 'you left your cell phone at the convenience store.'

 

[Happyjax]

Was mom blond?

 

[Alley-Kat]

Working our way to 100 pages of jokes...

- - - - - - - - - - A blond joke with a twist - - - - - - - - - - - -

Two blonde engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole,' said one, 'but we don't have a ladder.'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, 'Twenty one feet, six inches,' and walked away.

One blonde engineer shook his head and laughed, 'A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length.

 

[Tuff Guy 62]

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting,"Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"?

She was having contractions.

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting,"Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"?

She was having contractions.

Groan! That's a good'n

 

[ski3pin]

When I was young I thought "drink responsibly" meant "don't spill it".

 

[ski3pin]

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

[hoyden]

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

*groan*

 

[CougarCouple]

I'd like to help.

Who knows know why blonde jokes are so short.






It's so brunette's can understand them.


Russ

Edit for sp

 

[Tuff Guy 62]

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

 

[ski3pin]

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

"That's cute!" quote from the Lady.

 

[ski3pin]

Even duct tape can't fix stupid but it can muffle the sound.

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Even duct tape can't fix stupid but it can muffle the sound.

That is so true.
Frank

 

[Happyjax]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Groan!!! I love it!!!

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Groan!!! I love it!!!

xx2

 

[Tuff Guy 62]

Before criticizing another person, it is wise to walk a mile in his shoes.


If he doesn't like the criticism, you're a mile away and wearing his shoes!

 

[Happyjax]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

 

[ski3pin]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

We like it!