I need to hear a good new joke

[Wandering Sagebrush]

FORE!

[SIZE=23.55px]Went out golfing this weekend, got on the first tee and did my normal pre-swing routine. I hit my driver in what started out as a good shop then rapidly turned into a slice. I heard a commotion down by the ball. As I approached my ball I see the owner of a house standing outside looking at his broken window. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=23.55px]He looks at me and at the window and then back at me and says, "Well what are you going to do about it?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=23.55px]I tell him, "Well, I think I'll change my grip. Yes, I think it's all in the grip.”[/SIZE]

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Me: Back away slowly, there’s a wolf.

The Boss of Me: WHERE?

Me: No, just the regular kind.

 

[ski3pin]

Me: Back away slowly, there’s a wolf.

The Boss of Me: WHERE?

Me: No, just the regular kind.

Reminds me of a movie...............................

 

[craig333]

Like

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Me: Back away slowly, there’s a wolf.

The Boss of Me: WHERE?

Me: No, just the regular kind.

Reminds me of a movie...............................

Plagiarism is a sincere form of flattery.

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Where wolf,...there wolf.
Ha Ha.

Speaking of wolves not a joke though.
Or 93( I think that's his #) is in my area.San Benito co.
He has made a long trip.
Frank

 

[buckland]

My dog has no nose

"How does it smell?"

Awful

Yes well it loses something in translation! Here is Monty Python's The World's Funniest Joke"

https://youtu.be/FBWr1KtnRcI

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Did you hear about the guy who successfully cut off the left side of his body?

Don’t worry, he’s All Right now.

 

[Vic Harder]

Retraining for life after covid

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Vic that was good.
Frank

 

[ski3pin]

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Great APP to have.

Do they have one for us Italians?
Frank

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

The female officer said, "You're staggering."

I replied, "You're quite stunning yourself”.

She arrested me anyway!

 

[ski3pin]

[SIZE=18pt]A banjo picker dies and goes to heaven. Old St. Pete meets him at the pearly gates and explains that for some reason record numbers are wanting into heaven and they've had to implement an exam you need to pass to gain entrance. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=18pt]The banjo picker starts to visibly shake.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18pt]"Don't worry," St. Pete says. "It's only three questions and we'll take it slow. Why don't you relax and have a seat at the fountain here."[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18pt]The banjo picker sits and St. Pete begins.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18pt]"First question, here we go!" says St. Pete. "What two days in the week begin with the letter T?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"That's easy!" the banjo picker shouts, "Today and tomorrow!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]St. Pete looks stunned. "That wasn't the answer I was looking for but you got me. For question two we are moving into math. We are really big on math up here in heaven. Most people don't know that. Question two - how many seconds are there in a year?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"Twelve!" the banjo picker shouts. "That's an easy one too!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"Twelve?" St. Pete asks.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"Yup, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...........twelve!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]St. Pete shakes his head. "Again, that wasn't the answer I was looking for but you got me. On to question three and appropriately enough it deals with religion. Question three - what is god's first name?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"Easy again!" the banjo picker shouts and jumps to his feet ready to stroll right on in to the promised land. "Andy!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]"Andy?" St. Pete asked. "How can you say, 'Andy'?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The banjo picker grins from ear to ear. "It's in the hymn we sang all the time in church. 'Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me I am his own'!" [/SIZE]

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Groan,but good.
Frank

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

A good groaner at that!

 

[Vic Harder]

My next camper build!

 

[ski3pin]

Off road tires and it will be perfect!

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

I was just thinking this morning,people mount bikes on the back of
campers why not mount a camper on a bike.
Wow and there it is.

Vic you must have read my mind.
Frank

 

[Vic Harder]

I was just thinking this morning,people mount bikes on the back of
campers why not mount a camper on a bike.
Wow and there it is.

Vic you must have read my mind.
Frank

And a good read it was too!