OP
OP
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison but then I remembered you cannot end a sentence with a proposition.
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
Sounds like a proposition occurred much earlier.ski3pin said:
A country Doctor was making a house call on one of his very ill patients when he noticed a very quaint well in the yard. As he walked over for a closer look, he tripped and fell head first down the well and drowned.
You can guess the moral of the story....
You can guess the moral of the story....
CougarCouple
Senior Member
What’s the moral , please.
Russ
Russ
groannn ;-)
CougarCouple
Senior Member
Thank you sir.
ntsqd
Custom User Title
So dumb it's funny.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
*SCAM ALERT*
[SIZE=13.5pt]Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Home Depot, Sam’s Club, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]happen to you or your friends.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Here's how the scam works; Two very beautiful, college-age girls will[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]McDonald's.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]other one steals your wallet.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]I had my wallet stolen February 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also March 1st, 2nd,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again this upcoming[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]weekend.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]their stores.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So please be very careful!!! It could happen to you[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Home Depot, Sam’s Club, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]happen to you or your friends.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Here's how the scam works; Two very beautiful, college-age girls will[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]McDonald's.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]other one steals your wallet.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]I had my wallet stolen February 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also March 1st, 2nd,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again this upcoming[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]weekend.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]their stores.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]So please be very careful!!! It could happen to you[/SIZE]
ntsqd
Custom User Title
So, I have an EpiPen now... My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
OP
OP
The fastest animal on land is the toddler right after you ask, "What's in your mouth?"
OP
OP
ski3pin said:
Love it Steve.
That's the same sound I get.
Frank
That's the same sound I get.
Frank
OP
OP
What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline.
A receding hareline.
OP
OP
My grandfather always said, "When one door closes, another one opens."
He was a good man but a not so good cabinet maker.
He was a good man but a not so good cabinet maker.
Now that the Alpha Females are taking jobs outside of the home, many husbands are staying home and taking on the responsibilities of helping out with some of the labor intensive housework. The GE Big Boy Home Appliances are just the thing men need to get the job done. (Shades of the Binford 6000 on Tim The Tool Man Taylor's show "Tool Time")
https://www.thebigshow.com/vod_html5/videos/20190102/high.mp4
https://www.thebigshow.com/vod_html5/videos/20190102/high.mp4
EM4
Advanced Member
Vic Harder said:
EM4
Advanced Member
ski3pin said:
PaulT
Need gumbo
Seen on sign in front of veterinarian's office in Sisters, Oregon this weekend:
Front of sign: "A tapeworm walks into a bar,"
Other side of sign: "Asks: Is this stool taken?"
Paul
Front of sign: "A tapeworm walks into a bar,"
Other side of sign: "Asks: Is this stool taken?"
Paul
