I need to hear a good new joke

[chnlisle]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'

HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[billharr]

Psychology Education is powerful...


A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.
He asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?”
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All of the students in the library started staring at the man, who was
truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table
and said, with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed -- right?”

The man then responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S ROBBERY!"
All of the people in the library looked, in shock, at the girl.

The man then whispered in her ear: "I study law; and, I know how to
screw people."​

__________________

 

[craig333]

If you aren't familiar with a turbo encabulator.....

 

[camelracer]

Got to have one to replace my transfer case articulating loafer trunnion.

 

[N'kwala]

Don't leave home without one?

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

LOVE IT.
And they said it all with a straight face.
Frank

 

[4llamas]

CAUTION!
Read the reviews before you buy. If you are replacing a standard encabulator you will be disappointed to find that the mounting holes do not line up. Not off by much, but enough. Buyer beware.

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Is that for the 4x4 version?
Frank

 

[Alley-Kat]

No, the left handed metric one.
It rotates in the opposite direction, thus the thrust is also reversed.

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Thanks,I am relived I ordered the correct one.
Frank

 

[ski3pin]

No, the left handed metric one.
It rotates in the opposite direction, thus the thrust is also reversed.

Alley-Kat, I hear that only happens south of the Equator.

 

[chnlisle]

How about dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

 

[ski3pin]

Hey fellow Wanderers, we need your help. We've received some feedback about the joke thread, as well as another thread or two. The site team has discussed the issue, and we feel that we need to be consistent about what is appropriate content.

Before posting a joke, please take a minute to think about whether or not you (or someone else) would want to have to explain to your child or grandchild the meaning of the humor. We realize that the group is predominantly male, but there are others, including kids who are on the forum. If the site team considers something over the edge, we will need to hide it from view.

Please keep your humor family friendly.

We all love humor.........................but occasionally you may find a posted joke no longer visible - based on the above (and the site rules, link posted below, bottom right on each page) - so please figure the site team has been quietly doing its job.

 

[ski3pin]

How about dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

Thinking about dyslexia, it is nice that Dad is always Dad and Mom is always Mom.

 

[Ted]

Thinking about dyslexia, it is nice that Dad is always Dad and Mom is always Mom.

Not necessarily. I remember my dad had a favorite Father's Day card pinned up for years. It read:

Give me a D.
Give me an A.
Give me a D
What's that spell?

ADD

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

I am going to add a bit to Ski3Pin's reiteration of acceptable content. If you'll take a minute and review the site rules, politics is one of the topics that we need to avoid.

 

[ntsqd]

I've a friend who pronounces it "Lexdysia"......

 

[ski3pin]

Not necessarily. I remember my dad had a favorite Father's Day card pinned up for years. It read:

Give me a D.
Give me an A.
Give me a D
What's that spell?

ADD

The Lady got the giggles with that one Ted!

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

My new dog. He's a pure-bread puppy..

I have no idea who took the photo, or if it is even real (photoshopped?), but it was funny beyond belief.

 

[ski3pin]

Good one, Mr. Sage