Boy that would be a great fountain.I think it would run dry very soon.ski3pin said:
Frank
I need to hear a good new joke
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
Frank
Tuff Guy 62
Senior Member
When I was young man I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all my elders would to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and telling me "you're next".
I finally got them to stop after I started doing the same thing at funerals.
I finally got them to stop after I started doing the same thing at funerals.
OP
OP
Tuff Guy 62 said:When I was young man I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all my elders would to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and telling me "you're next".
I finally got them to stop after I started doing the same thing at funerals.
Squatch
Senior Member
................The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed your 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally ... I assumed you had stolen the car."
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed your 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally ... I assumed you had stolen the car."
I like that one.
Frank
Frank
Manfred65
Senior Member
Great!
CougarCouple
Senior Member
Good job Squatch
Tanks for the laughs
Tanks for the laughs
Spot on!
[SIZE=18pt]A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]He decides to test it out at dinner one night. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The son says, "I did some homework."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the son. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the son.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching a dirty movie." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what a dirty movie was." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the father.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the mother.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Robot For Sale........[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]He decides to test it out at dinner one night. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The son says, "I did some homework."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the son. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the son.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching a dirty movie." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what a dirty movie was." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the father.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]The robot slaps the mother.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=18pt]Robot For Sale........[/SIZE]
Like it.
Frank
Frank
I needed that laugh!
OP
OP
From our small town to yours.........................................
I was at our local Safeway a few days before Thanksgiving. A woman was going through the frozen turkeys but could not find one big enough. She asked the fellow behind the meat counter, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He replied with a straight face, "No ma'am, they're dead."
I was at our local Safeway a few days before Thanksgiving. A woman was going through the frozen turkeys but could not find one big enough. She asked the fellow behind the meat counter, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He replied with a straight face, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Squatch
Senior Member
Here's your sign!
CougarCouple
Senior Member
Good on Happyjax
Thanks but I’ll stay as far away from that robot.
Russ
Thanks but I’ll stay as far away from that robot.
Russ
OP
OP
[SIZE=13.5pt]A delightful little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street for two blocks and turn to your right. It's on the left."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. If you and your mother come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The little boy replied with a chuckle; "You're kidding me, right? You can't even find the Post Office."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street for two blocks and turn to your right. It's on the left."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. If you and your mother come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13.5pt]The little boy replied with a chuckle; "You're kidding me, right? You can't even find the Post Office."[/SIZE]
That's a good chuckle.
Frank
Frank
OP
OP
Since I turned 65 I'm happy to report I'm still the life of the party, even if it lasts 'til 8 pm.
+1ski3pin said:
CougarCouple
Senior Member
OP
OP
It's always said that money talks. I believe that is true. Unfortunately, mine just says good bye.
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